whew. it’s 12:26 am. i woke up at 6 am to go shoot legion baseball games in milbank, south dakota today. that’s just a little more than two hours both ways. exhausting. so, if i fall asleep while writing this, that’s why.
i actually got right up, hopped in the shower, ate some frosted flakes, and off to KDLT to get the camera. then, into the company car and a quick pit stop to get some coffee at a local gas station. turned up the radio to some ESPN radio – good ol’ Mike and Mike in the Morning. Just a little bit after, I switch the station to KLove, a Christian radio station. not far after that, I was talking to Jesus in the car. it was about 8:10ish in the am. cloudy morning.
i remember saying, hey God, what’s up? sometimes i like to talk to God like he is my best friend, well he is. the bestest friend anyone could wish for. i said hey God, i know i haven’t been living like i should be. i’ve been acting like a “baby” Christian, just going through life, each day in the motions. i was high on life, but not high on Jesus. lately, i sin, lust, question, doubt.
job 31:1 is a super verse i found to help with trying to avoid lust. it says, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.”
i would question my plan, my purpose, or even was God hearing me, or listening to me? i wanted God to tangibly speak to me and say, Sam, this is what I want you to do! But, it doesn’t work that way. God will speak when he chooses and i need to trust God. God is control. i need to quit living selfishly, dropping my need to be in control and just trust God.
lastly, i would ask God, give me a girl. i see relationships everywhere i go. i want that. i need to be patient. God timing is the best timing!
so, at the end of my talk with God, i said, hey God, i said, be the Lord and Savior of my life, my heart. You died for me. You forgave me. You wiped my slate clean. i trust You to work in me.
a peace came over me, and i just sat and listened to the radio. i sang some worship songs. God is good. God is everything. don’t doubt or question God. i needed to know that God was God and today he showed me again what it felt like. it felt good.
well, i’m going to say hey to my pillow now so know that God is there beside you ALWAYS! TRUST!
sleepy, joyful thoughts