Don’t know why.

as I sit in the living room of my apartment at college sipping my white mocha coffee reading Best American Essays for my advance comp. class along with watching SportsNation and blaring Norah Jones with the window up on a gorgeous fall day, I just sit and think with my fingers on the keyboard of my MacBook Pro. I like to write. Its how I express myself. Maybe I will write a book someday.

I just don’t why, but this hasn’t happened in a long time. For the last week, I haven’t been able to breathe, my head has felt like exploding all because of a cold. Today I felt better. Still, I have been busy. Luckily this weekend is fall break at college. Oh and its USF vs. Augie on Saturday in football. Were only two blocks away in the small town Sioux Falls, South Dakota and its the first time we are playing each other in conference play. However, its midterms this week, so it adds an extra stress. Hopefully we beat Augie and I can just sit back with my friends and enjoy a drink.

I’m just taking it one day at time now. Yesterday, I overslept my first class. I guess it was refreshing, but the rest of the day I felt like crap going to my other two classes, doing an interview with the head football coach (I enjoyed that), doing the KCFS news for the radio, running errands to the bank, and then I had some time to take a short nap before studying. One thing I know is that I enjoy my major, I love journalism. Later that night, don’t worry, I caught the end of the Broncos-Chargers game. I remembered that there is still no reason to doubt Peyton Manning. Even when down 24 to 0 on the road on Monday Night Football. Oh and I almost forgot I got to enjoy a Packers victory Sunday night. Aaron Rodgers quieted any skeptics about a down season. Shhhhhhhh.

Onto today. Today, I got up for 8 am class, then worked out, and I didn’t really enjoy it. I just lifted, and ran and didn’t enjoy it. However, my ipod shuffle was on target. The first song was, “Don’t Know Why,” by Norah Jones. Listen to these lyrics. It just brought peace. Something I needed.

Then, “Worn,” by Tenth Avenue North came on. The lyrics hit the target on how the last week has been.

“I’m Tired I’m worn. My heart is heavy. From the work it takes. To keep on breathing. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve let my hope fail. My soul feels crushed. By the weight of this world.” Do you ever feel like this?

The next few lines struck me and gave me hope. “I know I need to lift my eyes up, but I’m too weak. Life just won’t let up, and I know that you can give me rest. So I cry out with all that I have left. Let me see redemption win. Let me know the struggle ends. That you can mend a heart. That’s frail and torn. I wanna know the sun can rise. From the ashes of a broken life, and all that’s dead inside can be reborn. Cause I’m worn.”

Just know that even when feel like giving up, God will give you rest. I was assured this when I read Psalm 62:5 earlier. “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.”

Just remember God is always there, even when you feel like giving up on the world.


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