Twas the night before Christmas (SPORTS EDITION!!!!)

Twas the night before Christmas,

Jameis became Publix and stole a national championship and crab legs

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Not a creature was stirring and then Richard Sherman said IMMA THE BEST CORNERBACK IN THE NFL!!

The stockings were hung at Metlife in hopes Peyton would win, but Russell won instead

T.J. Oshie was a hero, but EH it wasn’t good enough for gold

March came in like a lion when Mercer showed no mercy and  upset Duke (NOOOOOO)

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The children were nestled all snug in their beds but then Aaron Harrison hit not one, not two, but three game winning three-pointers

But Shabazz Napier complained to the NCAA he went hungry to bed and won the title over Big Blue Nation

Some horse set the Tone and spoiled Chrome’s quest for a triple crown

Los Angles were KINGS in hockey again

The Spurs aren’t too old to win NBA titles; He’s TIMMY after all.

USA yelled to the world, ‘I believe we can win,”

But in the end America remembered football is the real futbol.

Then Rory had the best break-up of his life or ever.

And Mama in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

Wait, don’t sleep because LeBron’s coming home and bringing all the Love with him and his best friend named Mike too

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When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter –

Yeah Jeets hit a walk-off in his last Yankee Stadium game.

Aaron Rodgers said R-E-L-A-X and Tom Brady’s too old???

Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson learned a lesson, it’s never okay to hit a woman or child

Away to the window I flew like a flash, the Giants aren’t Bums and neither is that Madison pitcher

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With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be the pink slip,

Now Bo is no Mo in Lincoln, Now Brady (c)Hoked in Ann Arbor (wink) and Now he’s Mus-chump in Gainesville

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Now Is Jim Harbaugh next? (HAPPY BDAY JIMMY) (PS please come to Ann Arbor?)

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack…

for chaos in college football because TCU and Baylor got left out and the Big 12 had no title game

and Ohio State got a gift because they were on their third quarterback.

Then Johnny Football became Johnny Clipboard, Johnny Bench, Johnny Starter, Johnny Interception, Johnny Hurt and Johnny out of the season

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And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney, Tony Romo can win in Demcember?!

Then Marshawn went Beast Mode and said, ‘NAH THANKS FOR ASKING.”

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He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

On Epstein, on Maddon, on Lester

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle but I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

‘Go Cubs Go,’ is 2015 the end of the curse of the Billy Goat?

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And Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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